Top tips for living with other people
Friday, 21 April 2023
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Sharing your living space with other people can be challenging.
ECU has a series of tips sheets to help people develop their own mental health plan, as well as an expert counselling team you can make an appointment with.
In his book He Died With a Falafel in His Hand, author John Birmingham collated a wide variety of housemate horror stories.
From struggling to live with people who play too much of The Smiths, to housemates who can go weeks without washing the dishes, or the friend who is always short on the rent, and at the extreme end of the spectrum - misadventures with falafels. It's a funny read.
But living with a challenging housemate is different to reading other people's recollections, and adjusting to new living arrangements, or sharing a space with other people who come from different backgrounds, can be a huge adjustment.
Setting up some ground rules can create a less stressful household, and reduce the number of disagreements. We asked some season house-sharers for their top suggestions for a harmonious household.
1. Be clear about how much rent each person is paying and when it's due.
If all rooms in the house are the same then it's easy to work out what percentage of rent each person should be playing. If one of the rooms is twice as big, or has a balcony, or it's own bathroom, then it's reasonable to suggest the person scoring that room might may a greater proportion of the rent. Just make sure everyone is clear on what each person will pay and when the funds are due.
2. Work out what items in the fridge are shared and what people should keep there hands off.
Food in the kitchen can be one of the biggest areas of disagreement. It usually makes sense to agree that some universal household items are paid for by everyone, and others things are personal. Having five cartons of milk, or four tubs of margarine in the fringe does not make much sense. Some households establish a weekly fund to cover these items.
3. Be clear about when you can have friends over and the use of common spaces.
There's nothing more annoying that setting aside some time to focus on studying, only to discover your housemate has decided to throw an impromptu party and invited ten friends over. Partners saying overnight can often be a source of contention, especially if they start eating the household food too. Be clear about expectations in this area.
4. Try to do some things together, but remember everyone needs their alone time.
Spending some time hanging out with new housemates can help build friendships and improve communication, but everyone needs their personal time and privacy too, work out how you're going to balance these elements. It's useful to recognise that we all have different routines and moods, you might love getting up as the sun rises, but you're housemate might be more of a night-owl. Recognise and accept that we're all different.
5. Have a mechanism for solving disagreements.
Need some more tips on living with other people? Download the tip sheet on housemates and checkout others in the series. You can also make an appointment to chat to Psychological Counselling Support. Also check out the Accomodation Resources page.